I hereby title this LONG post of life abi wetin you think
Long post alert let me start with my response first from the previous blog post
@Destiny hehe I have decided to take your advice and make Sunday my cheat day but I am fearing God already hopefully I won’t eat myself to stupor but if it happens there are only two things I either burst or I start floating like A helium filled balloon. (If I start floating I will make CNN NEWS SHA YOU WILL know it Ms cookie) I hereby give u permission to speak about me in case you’re invited to talk with Anderson Cooper.
@Afolabi Tosyne hehehe I’m glad I was able to make you laugh and haaaa you want to see me ke my kind of beauty is blinding o you have to be strong oya send me workout tips I am open and if u insist I will send you my pic but don’t say I didn’t warn you sha * just go and invest in sunshade before you see me* and haaa it is that kind of your skinniness gan gan that I want you know like beauty pageant queens but I will take anything at this point because I am suspecting that I have big bones like queen latifah and I have accepted my lot abi it is better to have thick bones than no bones at all o. hehehe.
@ Vira Virah lol don’t go and pass out at work o (I almost did at work also) don’t let waist carving spoil your pocket o and as for sucking honey trust me I have tried it and my own don pass level of sucking it in *sucks in right now and looks down at tummy and the verdict is I look the same* I will keep working out afterall rome wasn’t built in a day
@ Mobyoflife lol @your comment I won’t kill myself o lailai the devil is a liar, yeah you see I also day dream a lot at the gym I think of how I wish all this fat would just magically move to my ass like J.lo abi don’t you think it would be a good investment? And I also dream of all the outfits I will wear haaaa you GUYS will be sweating when you see this bodyoflife just wait o, just do me this favor go and buy sun shade if you don’t have one already because mann I fit blind you by next year Lol and thank you jare it will indeed come true I have a date with a 2 piece next summer by force by fire.
@Buiti Christian thank you jare smooches I love how you can’t wait to see me whenever I post this my current pic up just divide my body into a vertical half and you will be seeing me already, I don arrive be dat o (as a sharp babe I’m teaching you guys how to see the future o, that how I want u guys to see me don’t be a learnerJ )
@Yours Truly….. in fact just chop kiss my Gawd you see when I saw the word PROLIFIC WRITE I just stopped what I was doing and started smiling like a nincompoop at work as in my head started swelling o, it remain to apply ice block to it as in my head was raised to the power 100 ( SHEY YOU KNOW algebraic THINGS now)ahaha a whole me it was like you dashed me Grammy award o for my mind just so u know I introduced myself at work as a prolific person hehehehe and you are right jare who said I am not sexier than Beyonce, Shakira and co I will soon meet up with them it just remain small. And amen to you being a prolific renowned writer from your mouth to his ears.
@sykik haaaa I have already wounded o, if you see the way that corset dealt with me ehen. First it makes me all sweaty and when I take it off I will be itching like a crazy woman as in I don’t even know where I want to scratch first and one time (let me whisper in your ears come closer) I wore this weapon of waist mass destruction to work and I thought I was dying slowly as in I ran to the bathroom and took it off kia kia haaaa because of waist I almost lost money o. see me see trouble and as for bum clincher they have o it is kuku therE O IT WILL ENVELOPE YOUR BUTT CHEECKS ( I SUSPECT IT CUTS OF CIRCULATION O BUT U KNOW BEAUTY IS PAIN)AND SEIZE IT AND MAKE IT PROTRUDE BY THUNDER I saw it on ebay also that one dey like some kind of gadget but it is well o, we are all in search of different things. I wouldn’t mind giving you fat transfer to your bum because honey I have more than enough and God loves a cheerful giverJ.
@Chris Okafor FINE chocolate specimen that my name for you now whether you like or not I saw your PIISSSHHUUURREE on Tibs tell tales) yes indeedy I went thru it and still is and as you can see it is not easy o but I am determined and plus I have outed myself so I gotta rep you get on another note btw you and I when I get that body you will have to sing ada ada to me and carry guitar o ( i will allow you to pretend to play dont worry ) o start practicing the song now that your assignment lol.
@ Petite Diva lol my dear such is life o abi see how I am chasing waist, other people want ass for days , and some even want boobs am sure God is looking down and saying this my children ehen why can’t they be happy with what they have. I mean look at the irony you want to gain I want to lose chaii if only we can do body transplant I will just dash you and carry your lepacious body and run away very quickly….
@toinlicious in dame patience voice * you too* eeeyaaah I don’t mind donating fat for your bumbum o if that is the case I am so blessed with all round fat ( i can't dash you the one in my bum sha o my generosity no dey that kain level o i am only giving away stomach fat you can deposit it where you like o) it ridiculous I can do fat transfer for your girls all at the same time. I am generous person after all even God loves a cheerful giver lol and then you shake that bumbum till eternity. Just change your prayer for God to dash you a little bit of fat from ms cookie’s generous portion and see if he won’t answer your prayers. I think we should join hands sha.
@adazenwa thank you for being on my side jare chop kiss. You see 2015 is our year o I need u to start using this hashtag #slimgirlswahaladeyo2015isoforallofus ASAP We won’t give all this sexy slim girls rest o, na our year be that one it is a case of by fire, by force, by thunder and by lightening. *SHOUTING WE no go greee oooo we no go gree *
@ Fola H-S I got that weapon from ebay, plz let me know your experience it is well with your waist o datizzz all I have to say lol J
I am so sorry for responding late to the last post comments you see guys and as far as where have I been well I have been developing a relationship with the gym my soon to be lovaah if we can just get over this initial shakara. My goal is to start making love to the elliptical machine and dumbbells. and oooh guys right now I hurt everywhere (fret not it is the good kind of pain) you see I worked out with one of my homegirl/coworker she is one of those slim lepacious girls those kinds that you go out to eat with and you look at your plate and you feel ashamed for a minute but ( for me sha it passes as soon as I take a bite of my ribs and ketchup drenched french-fries while I watch her eating her side of broccoli, aspragus,and chicken breast( I love chicken thighs and drumstick my God why can’t I be attracted to healthy things like white meat like chicken breast this life isn’t fair o but let me quit lamenting ) anyhoo let me get to my point she played basketball from middle school, high school and all the way thru College so staying healthy is a way of life for her, so I decide to align myself with success o jare *abi who no like better thing*, you see there was another chick well her body is just there and she was doing her own work out and wanted me to join her I was like thanks for your offer I need results, you see it doesn’t make any sense for me to follow her because it will simply be a case of the blind leading the blind hehe ( so anyways guys I almost died o true talk OMG I never HESSPERRITED THIS LEVEL OF PAIN chaiiiiiii you guys would have weeped for me… we stretched and spent 30 minutes lifting dumbbells working out all part of my body even muscles that I never worked out before I made vigorous love to the elliptical for 30 minutes. my goal is to continue so we can join together as one in the future. plus I have already announced to you guys about my incoming beyonce curves so I gotta pull thru ( I don’t want to be shamed o). I will be honest during my workout with homegirl I felt like quitting cuz chaaiii the way my heart was beating jesuchristi oluwa mi (you know it painful when I quote Yoruba during the exercise I remembered the first line of *our lord’s prayer* in Yoruba also lol that as far as I can say so u know it real if that popped in my mind). You would have thought I saw a check for a trillion dollars in my name the way I was breathing ...... so night came and hehehe I had to use ibuprofen just to sleep every nerve ending was on fire i was so scared to change position or get up to pee because CHAIII it hurt like hell, but I consoled myself and said "self pele very soon u will debut yourself jare and the world will bow hehehe(see as I like to psych myself)" I slept for 4 hours and woke up when the meds wore off ( this continued for a week) but guess what I did when I woke up the next morning I worked out again and combined with my modified diet and corset( I took a break for the past 3 days from my corset my weapon of waist mass destruction I think every other day will be fine with me I can’t come die o over waist carving) infact I couldn’t even walk like myself I was waddling like a duck wey car don jam before or 120 year old woman *your choice*. but I am focusing on the future sha because baybay my future is very very bright o all of you will all need sunshade hehehe and for those who want to see my pissshuuureee. you see I am anonymous but I can show u a full back pic and maybe a sideprofile I suppose and I will let u request which eye u want to see left or right like obiamaka hehehehe let me know (my left side is my good side o) and I’ll tally it up. If you like gist stay tuned while I serve you some tea honey you will be interested in what I have downloaded below * the news get as e be o infact I gave it a different title lol*
Waka waka baby oh yeah, you be wuru wuru baby oh yeah *section*
*singing sawa sawa sawaley kpokoton pompom* forgive my heathen song but that what came to my mind lol in order news I have some wakawakababy kinda gists for u guys so the other day I overheard some coworkers from a different unit talking about something during lunch and naturally since I am not deaf I couldn’t help but tune in my NASA ears to join in and I started asking questions ( i love gist I aint even gonna lie )so there was this neurosurgeon *he was one of the best* right and he was married I dont know why he couldn’t scratch whatever was itching his groin region by himself because he started sleeping around with a prostitute and ole girl had a pimp/boyfriend. i guess she decided she was gonna leave her pimp and just be with the doctor fulltime so she wouldn’t have to share her money after all she was the one doing all the Olympic bed exercise, well so every day after work they meet up at the same room in the hotel and get to work on this certain *cardiovascular workout* ( I’m trying to keep it clean yall though I am tempted to use certain words LOL) so this unfortunate day they were doing it by the balcony and before they know it her pimp came in all mad (he had a key becausee he used to book their reservations and when she dumped him the night before she someone didn’t think to change location or room) so he comes in while they were doing the vertical azonto dance by the balcony and throws the neurosurgeon over the balcony of a several stories high hotel and that how he died. I was like wow what a horrible way for his wife and kids to find out. so anyhoo the pimp is now in jail I didn’t really follow up on how many years he got because I was just flabbergasted. *( my coworkers love gossip too much chai is it my fault that I am hearing it ehen lol free me o I am just a victim here ) GIST 2 ANOTHER DOCTOR I mean this dude is so strict and straight-laced when I heard I just kept saying shocker of life because I didn’t know he could get down like that. Apparently he was having an affair with a unit nurse and she got pregnant unbeknownst to him the nurse was having an affair with 4 other doctors in the same hospital (madam player) and she tried to get him to pay her child support on the low low but he was like naah that aint my baby well she tried to pin it on the other 4 doctors and they also reject it well the news spread like a wild Californian fire in the hospital the other 4 doctors found out and both denied having anything to do with her, right now i guess she is too ashamed to do a DNA test and she is now the laughingstock of the hospital (even though we know it took 6 people to tango in this hotmess) but she is gangsta because home girl is still working and didn’t quit despite all the snickering going on behind her back. The main doctor she was messing with ( in her mind he was going to marry her and divorce his wife and dump his daughters) his wife got sick and she was brought in to this same hospital he works at. when he came in to see her she just kept screaming loudly " you m****f***** I better not be on the same floor as that wh*** you are such a cheater, get out of my room, get lost, you better make sure she doesn’t come into my room, you are so nasty yada yada yada" well the doctor came out he was so red-faced and embarrassed. but you know I was just wondering why one woman would decide to juggle 5 men kilode are you that insatiable and now the poor child has no father it sad, I really hope one day she decides to give all 5 men a DNA test and claim her child support, and the worst part is now all 5 doctors have gotten over it and are known to hang out sometimes IRONYOFLIFE sighs I was just like mann some chicks just ask for it.........
It a wonderful day out there out there don’t let any leeches suck the life out of it for you, live your life, stay happy and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise smooches yall muaaaaawwwwwww. *takes a long sip of my Lipton orange pekeo tea with splenda ofcourse ( i rebuke any sugar calories )*i dont know why i have been sippin on tea lately o i think i am being influenced by kermit anyhoo, am OFF TO FIND MY CELERY STICKS TO MUNCH ON J I’m out…
