I have a dream YALL
HELLO DIVAS/GENTS I am in pain very serious pain, and I am writing this post while breathing like a woman in labor. I know you’re gonna be thinking but whhhhyyy well the answer is very simple. I am wearing a latex corset (waist cincher) all because I have decided I want a beyonce waist all. So far I have learned that beauty is pain, you see all this stars let me mention names j.Lo, Beyonce, Shakira, Jada Pinkett Smith and Madonna I just want to tell you guys pele ehen sorry, to be a star is not easy o biko it just occurred to be that they must constantly look good so they have to eat healthy foods chai such is life be careful what you wish for, there is a price to pay for everything as I am paying mine now. You wanna look good?*snaps fingers* guess what honey you gotta pay the price, just wearing this by force by fire waist cincher takes me 10 mins of holding my breath and sucking what I can in and fighting to fasten the hooks. Just doing that Is a workout that induces heavy breathing THAT IS TO SAY (IN CHIEF JEGEDE”S VOICE SHOUT OUT AND LET ME KNOW IF YOU WATCHED ZEBRUDAYA BACK IN THE 90”S hehehe) this waist corset business is very odikwa risky if only they made one for the neck that restricts food sighs lol but I no wan die sha let us *in dame patience voice* KONTINU, if u cheat and eat more food ehen this latex corset will have the last laugh trust me the rods will stick into ur tummy and u will be uncomfortable(in kermit voice please don’t ask me how I know o.......... can I get two sugars while I sip on this tea).
You see I am getting ready for next summer I want to beat all this naturally slim fit girls at their game (ahah ezzzzz it only you guys that should be sexy ezzzzz it faaiiirrr) ennnh I’m here to join the game so yall are gonna have to scoot over. I want to wear a 2 piece bikini for once yall so watch out Ms Cookie is about to step onto the scene, close your eyes for a minute and just imagine oh yeah I got plans baby *shout with me* 123 FIYAAAAH YES GAWD HONEY lol lemme stop(MY IMAGINATION IS ON FIRE LOL) WHEN I GET THIS BODY of life *points work pen at my computer screen* you guys you are all in trouble in fact not only you guys the world is in trouble HEHEHE eyes have not seen neither have ears heard o lol but when I arrive sha I will be what my mother calls ONE IN TOWN ONE NATION well under God sha . With this my new found and freshly created beyonce waist una go shock die queen eliza will have nothing on me, my arrival at the beach that day chaiiii you see I will be walking like Naomi Campbell in goddess like motion and I will hold a small fan so my hair will be moving like Dianne Ross (for my mind sha lol) who knows maybe my boaz will be checking me out at beach winkwink lol nuff said can a girl dream?
P.S God it is me your dear daughter Ms Cookie please let all junk food taste crappy in my mouth I beg of u, give me the strength of Samson I don’t want to kill lions o I just want to be able to resist junk food, and those my coworkers that love bringing junk food *ROLLS EYES* it always THE slims ones ( after they have eaten all their salads in secret) that bring donuts, pigs in a blanket, chocolate chip cookies you know all those tempting medemede things I like Father lord I ask you to forgive them in advance because they do not know what they are doing, plz inspire them to bring fruit and vegetables only. And strengthen me o lord, I need to avoid all temptation ( MAKE any candy that accidently falls into my mouth bitter) while I embark on this Beyonce like waist journey and I WILL SHAKE THIS WAIST FOR YOU IN CHURCH EHHEEEN people will be begging me to stop dancing and saying enough o Ms cookie THE MUSIC IS OVER and last of all BLESS ANY ONE READING THIS. AMEN
DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS OR DREAMS DON’T HESISTATE TO LEAVE IT IN THE COMMENT section (HONESTLY I AM NOSY ) I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO KNOW. IT A GREAT DAY OUT THERE NO MATTER WHAT THE SITUATION IS, HAVE A FABULOUS DAY AND DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE (DON’T LET ME PULL YOUR EARS O) SMOOCHES YALL
u making one laugh. ..have one cheat day and then the rest of the week healthy eating. U got this girl! Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteBeauty is too much pain, talk about all the weaves and stress women go through.lol I truly understand.lol
Loooool so funny
ReplyDeleteBtw when am I seeing your pictures? You know I can help you with some really good weight dropping workout sections lool.
I will advise you work on your stomach don't be skinny like Tosyne and that corset is no go for you. God knows beauty aint pain for Tosyne I can't tolerate pain jare.
Lol. This reminds me of the day I wore one to work and I almost passed out. I had to take it off. No more corsets, clinchers or girdles for me biko.
ReplyDeleteI have learnt the act of sucking belle.
Hahaha...ms cookie has killed me. Abeg dont go and kill yourself o. Like my gym instructor says nothing good comes easy. Sometimes when I'm at the gym and I see nicki minaj's body, I just increase the treadmill's speed and I'll be sweating like a chicken about to be killed.... I cannot come and carry last o. I try not to eat so much junk but then I have days I just spoil myself.... it is well. I believe...... that ms cookie's dreams will come true.... very soon....as long as she doesn't pass out.... I believe. Hehehe
ReplyDeletehahaha i seriously cant wait to see you on the bikini joo
ReplyDeletefashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com
Hahahahhahahah, girl now i'm convinced that you were born to make people laugh - you are a prolific write and I always look forward to your posts. Who says that you can not be sexier than Beyoncé, Shakira, etc. All you need is support, encouragement, perseverance, persistence............... You will surely get there if you don't give up.
ReplyDeleteMy dream is to become a renowned writer - So, help me God, lol
I haff died of laughter......Biko...don't go and wound oh.....by the way is there clincher for bum enhancement, that's the one I need...I need to add to this flat pan I call a bum:)
ReplyDeleteLol @ Bum enhancement....I wish I fit dash small from my own give you, but nayyy, this my bakassi nah my biggest asset oo, My own is 'arm corset', for my all christian-sister-arms! ..ahahahha
DeleteOh sweet baby Jesus! You went through all that?!...hahahahahaha...very hilarious.
ReplyDeleteEverything good comes with a price tag. But, after the price comes the prize...
Lol...Abi no be so?
Lol......Ths world sha, some people want to lose weight i want to gain. It is well o...
ReplyDeleteHttp://journalofapetitediva.blogspot.com
Lmaooo@Sykik. I need that borom one too. I mean, i'm not flat really but i need more noni like the Olivia Twist that i am *shakes ikebe*
ReplyDeleteThis life though, me i want to gain, you are praying to loose. Sigh
P.S: I just opened your blog at the same time you were commenting on mine. Made me smile
Laughed so hard that tears came. I'm with you in this beating naturally slim gals at their game joor, we must be sexy by force and by fire jare
ReplyDeletelmao! ms cookie oooo! im planning on getting a waist cincher too! where did u get urs?
ReplyDeletewww.folasoasis.com
You've been taggedd. Check here: http://www.toinlicious.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-20s-tag.html
ReplyDeleteI laughed so hard as I read, you think say nah moi-moi to be a beauty queen or to have 8'" waist line ehn?..oh my! Shake your 'weist' like that for church ehn? ahahhaa.
ReplyDelete