Wednesday, October 1, 2014

POST OF LIFE



I hereby title this LONG post of life abi wetin you think
Long post alert let me start with my response first from the previous blog post
@Destiny hehe I have decided to take your advice and make Sunday my cheat day but I am fearing God already hopefully I won’t eat myself to stupor but if it happens there are only two things I either burst or I start floating like A helium filled balloon. (If I start floating I will make CNN NEWS SHA YOU WILL know it Ms cookie) I hereby give u permission to speak about me in case you’re invited to talk with Anderson Cooper.
@Afolabi Tosyne   hehehe I’m glad I was able to make you laugh and haaaa you want to see me ke my kind of beauty is blinding o you have to be strong oya send me workout tips I am open and if u insist I will send you my pic but don’t say I didn’t warn you sha * just go and invest in sunshade before you see me* and  haaa it is that kind of your skinniness gan gan that I want you know like beauty pageant queens but I will take anything at this point because I am suspecting that I have big bones like queen latifah and I have accepted my lot  abi it is better to have thick bones than no bones at all o. hehehe.
@ Vira Virah lol don’t go and pass out at work o (I almost did at work also) don’t let waist carving spoil your pocket o and as for sucking honey trust me I have tried it and my own don pass level of sucking it in *sucks in right now and looks down at tummy and the verdict is I look the same* I will keep working out afterall rome wasn’t built in a day
@ Mobyoflife lol @your comment I won’t kill myself o lailai   the devil is a liar, yeah you see I also day dream a lot at the gym I think of how I wish all this fat would just magically move to my ass like J.lo abi  don’t you think it would be a good investment? And I also dream of all the outfits I will wear haaaa you GUYS will be sweating when you see this bodyoflife just wait o, just do me this favor go and buy sun shade if you don’t have one already because mann I fit blind you by next year Lol and thank you jare it will indeed come true I have a date with a 2 piece next summer by force by fire.
@Buiti Christian thank you jare smooches I love how you can’t wait to see me whenever I post this my current pic up just divide my body into a vertical half and you will be seeing me already, I don arrive be dat o (as a sharp babe I’m teaching you guys how to see the future o, that how I want u guys to see me don’t be a learnerJ )
@Yours Truly….. in fact just chop kiss my Gawd you see when I saw the word PROLIFIC WRITE I just stopped what I was doing and started smiling like a nincompoop at work as in my head started swelling o, it remain to apply ice block to it  as in my head was raised to the power 100 ( SHEY YOU KNOW algebraic THINGS now)ahaha a whole me it was like you dashed me Grammy award o for my mind just so u know  I introduced myself at work as a prolific person hehehehe  and you are right jare who said I am not sexier than Beyonce, Shakira and co I will soon meet up with them it just remain small. And amen to you being a prolific renowned writer from your mouth to his ears.
@sykik haaaa I have already wounded o, if you see the way that corset dealt with me ehen. First it makes me all sweaty and when I take it off I will be itching like a crazy woman as in I don’t even know where I want to scratch first and one time (let me whisper in your ears come closer) I wore this weapon of waist mass destruction to work and I thought I was dying slowly as in I ran to the bathroom and took it off kia kia haaaa because of waist I almost lost money o. see me see trouble  and as for bum clincher they have o it is kuku therE O IT WILL ENVELOPE YOUR BUTT CHEECKS ( I SUSPECT IT CUTS OF CIRCULATION O BUT U KNOW BEAUTY IS PAIN)AND SEIZE IT AND MAKE IT PROTRUDE BY THUNDER I saw it on ebay also  that one dey like some kind of gadget but it is well o, we are all in search of different things. I wouldn’t mind giving you fat transfer to your bum because honey I have more than enough and God loves a cheerful giverJ.
@Chris Okafor  FINE chocolate specimen that my name for you now whether you like or not I saw your PIISSSHHUUURREE on Tibs tell tales)  yes indeedy I went thru it and still is  and as you can see it is not easy o but I am determined and plus I have outed myself so I gotta rep you get on another note btw you and I when I get that body you will have to sing ada ada to me and carry guitar o ( i will allow you to pretend to play dont worry ) o  start practicing the song now that your assignment lol.
@ Petite Diva lol my dear such is life o abi see how I am chasing waist, other people want ass for days , and some even want boobs am sure God is looking down and saying this my children ehen  why can’t they be happy with what they have. I mean look at the irony you want to gain I want to lose chaii if only we can do body transplant I will just dash you and carry your lepacious body and run away very quickly….
@toinlicious in dame patience voice * you too*  eeeyaaah I don’t mind donating fat for your bumbum o if that is the case I am so blessed with all round fat ( i can't dash you the one in my bum sha o my generosity no dey that kain level o i am only giving away stomach fat you can deposit it where you like o) it ridiculous I can do fat transfer for your girls all at the same time. I am generous person after all even God loves a cheerful giver lol and then you shake that bumbum till eternity. Just change your prayer for God to dash you a little bit of fat from ms cookie’s generous portion and see if he won’t answer your prayers. I think we should join hands sha.
@adazenwa thank you for being on my side jare chop kiss. You see 2015 is our year o I need u to start using this hashtag #slimgirlswahaladeyo2015isoforallofus ASAP We won’t give all this sexy slim girls rest o, na our year be that one it is a case of by fire, by force, by thunder and by lightening. *SHOUTING WE no go greee oooo we no go gree *
@ Fola H-S   I got that weapon from ebay, plz let me know your experience it is well with your waist o datizzz all I have to say lol  J  
              I  am so sorry for responding late to the last post comments you see guys and as far as where have I been well  I have been developing a  relationship with the gym my soon to be lovaah if we can just get over this initial shakara.  My goal is to start making   love to the elliptical machine and dumbbells. and oooh guys right now I hurt everywhere (fret not it is the good kind of pain) you see I worked out with one of my homegirl/coworker she is one of those slim lepacious girls those kinds that you go out to eat with and you look at your plate and you feel ashamed for a minute but ( for me sha it passes as soon as I take a bite of my ribs and ketchup drenched french-fries while I watch her eating her side of broccoli, aspragus,and chicken breast( I  love chicken  thighs and drumstick my God why can’t I be attracted to healthy things like white meat like  chicken breast this life isn’t fair o but let me quit lamenting ) anyhoo  let me get to my point she played basketball from middle school, high school  and all the way thru College so staying healthy is a way of life for her, so I decide to align myself with success o jare *abi who no like better thing*, you see there was another chick well her body is just there and she was doing her own work out and wanted me to join her I was like thanks for your offer I need results, you see it doesn’t make  any sense for me to follow her because it will simply be a case of the blind leading the blind hehe ( so anyways guys I almost died o  true talk OMG I never HESSPERRITED THIS LEVEL OF PAIN chaiiiiiii you guys would have weeped for me… we stretched and spent 30 minutes lifting dumbbells working out all part of my body even muscles that I never worked out before I made vigorous love to the elliptical for 30 minutes. my goal is to continue so we can join together as one in the future. plus  I have already announced to you guys about my incoming beyonce curves so I gotta pull thru (  I don’t want to be shamed o). I will be honest during my workout with homegirl I felt like quitting cuz chaaiii the way my heart was beating jesuchristi oluwa mi (you know it painful when I quote Yoruba during the exercise I remembered the first line of *our lord’s prayer* in Yoruba also lol that as far as I can say so u know it real if that popped in my mind). You  would have thought  I saw a check for a trillion dollars in  my name the way I was breathing ...... so night came and hehehe I had to use ibuprofen just to sleep every nerve ending was on fire i was so scared to change position or get up to pee because CHAIII it hurt like hell,  but  I consoled myself and said "self pele very soon u will debut yourself jare and the world will bow hehehe(see as I like to psych myself)" I slept for 4 hours and woke up when the meds wore off ( this continued for a week) but guess what I did when  I woke up the next morning  I worked out again and combined with my modified diet and corset(  I took a break for the past 3 days from my corset my weapon of waist mass destruction I think every other day will be fine with me I can’t come die o over waist carving) infact I couldn’t even walk like myself  I was  waddling like a duck wey car don jam before  or 120 year old woman *your choice*. but I am focusing on the future sha because baybay my future is very very bright o all of you will all need sunshade hehehe and for those who want to see my pissshuuureee. you see I am anonymous but I can show u a full  back pic and maybe a sideprofile  I suppose  and  I will let u request which eye u want to see left or right like obiamaka hehehehe let me know (my left side is my good side o) and  I’ll tally it up. If you like gist stay tuned while I serve you some tea honey  you will be interested in what I have downloaded below * the news get as e be o infact I gave it a different title lol*

                   Waka waka baby oh yeah, you be wuru wuru baby oh yeah *section*
*singing sawa sawa sawaley kpokoton pompom* forgive my heathen song but that what came to my mind lol   in order news I have some wakawakababy kinda  gists for u guys  so the other day I overheard some coworkers from a different unit talking about something during lunch and naturally since I am not deaf I couldn’t help but tune in my NASA ears to  join in and I started asking questions ( i love gist I aint even gonna lie )so there was this neurosurgeon *he was one of the best* right and  he was married   I dont know why he couldn’t scratch whatever was itching his groin region by himself  because he started sleeping around with a prostitute and ole girl had a pimp/boyfriend. i guess she decided she was gonna leave her pimp and just be with the doctor fulltime so she wouldn’t have to share her money after all she was the one doing all the Olympic bed exercise, well so every day  after work they  meet up at the same room in the hotel  and get to work on this certain *cardiovascular workout* ( I’m trying to keep it clean yall though I am tempted to use certain words LOL) so this unfortunate day they were doing it by the balcony and before they know it her pimp came in all mad (he had a key becausee he used to  book their reservations and  when she dumped him the night before  she someone didn’t think to change location or room) so he comes in while they were doing the vertical azonto dance by the balcony and throws the neurosurgeon over  the balcony of a several stories high hotel and that how he died. I was like wow what a horrible way for his wife and kids to find out. so anyhoo the pimp is now in jail I didn’t really follow up on how many years he got because I was just flabbergasted. *( my coworkers love gossip too much chai is it my fault that I am hearing it ehen lol free me o I am just a victim here ) GIST 2 ANOTHER DOCTOR  I mean this dude is so strict and straight-laced when I heard I just kept saying shocker of life because I didn’t know he could get down like that.  Apparently he was having an affair with a unit nurse and she got pregnant unbeknownst to him the nurse was having an affair with 4 other doctors in the same hospital (madam player) and she tried to get him to pay her child support on the low low but he was like naah that aint my baby  well she tried to pin it on the other 4 doctors and they also reject it well  the news  spread like a wild Californian fire in the hospital the other 4 doctors found out and both denied having anything to do with her, right now i guess she is too ashamed to do a  DNA test and she is now the laughingstock of the hospital (even though we know it took 6 people to tango in this hotmess) but she is gangsta because home girl is still working and didn’t quit despite all the snickering going on behind her back.  The main doctor she was messing with ( in her mind he was going to marry her and divorce his wife and dump his daughters) his wife got sick and she was brought in to this same hospital he works at. when he came in to see her she just kept screaming loudly " you m****f***** I better not be on the same floor as that wh*** you are such a cheater, get out of my room, get lost, you better make sure she doesn’t come into my room, you are  so nasty yada yada yada" well the doctor came out he was so red-faced and embarrassed. but you know I was just wondering why one woman would decide to juggle 5 men kilode are you that insatiable and now the poor child has no father it sad, I really hope one day she decides to give all 5 men a DNA test and claim her child support, and the worst part is now all 5 doctors have gotten over it and are known to hang out sometimes IRONYOFLIFE sighs I was just like mann some chicks just ask for it.........
It a wonderful day out there out there don’t let any leeches suck the life out of it for you, live your life,  stay happy and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise smooches yall muaaaaawwwwwww. *takes a long sip of my Lipton orange pekeo tea with splenda ofcourse ( i rebuke any sugar calories )*i dont know why i have been sippin on tea lately o i think i am being influenced by kermit anyhoo, am OFF TO FIND MY CELERY STICKS TO MUNCH ON J  I’m out…

33 comments:

  1. my love you sabi write sha lolol.. but i still no go greee until i see my bikini pic na wetin no do me ojoro ooo
    lol
    fashionitazbybuiti.blogspot.com

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    1. yes o before nko my head dey there o lol, i decide to channel my talking energy into this post. dont worry i have written your name down as part of the first people to see the new me lol

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  2. Darn! See gist overload! The Neuro guy though, sad way to die. As for Nurse Nympho, i guess a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. 5 at once though...0_0

    P.S: Fingers crossed on your hot bod in no time :D

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    1. yes o, and girl yeah i was just sad for him and even more for his family it just a really embarrassing situation. well a nympho she is you got that part right just devouring men left and right. and thanks hun smooches

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  3. Whooop! Mz Cookie aka Ms Almond Eyes aka Mz Beyonce (in a bit) is bac!
    Wow this post is loaded with gist. Lool who dates 5 people in one organization, ho of the year *runsaway*
    That other guy just wasted his life lori shina, I pity his wife and children and I wonder the style of mourning the will give him
    Don't give up on gyming bikonu I still want to see ya picture and not the blinding beauty o, the beyonce body of a goddess ;P

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    1. haaa i am going to add that to my list of names, i dont know how i can be a learner like this and not add Mz Beyonce to my list of endless names, na be that. and chile she totally deserved that award because it takes skills and effective time management to juggle and all this men without them knowing. yes o shina has been killing mean since 1809 you would think they would learn by now, and girl yes i just wondered the myraid of emotions they were experiencing it crazy
      and nooo i cant even give up *snaps fingers* i gotta werk it for you honey

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  4. Hehehehe @Cardiovascular workout. You are indeed very funny. Lol...
    I don't intend to hold brief for the neurosurgeon but he didn't deserve that. Was the guy that threw him down high on hashish?
    I shall start rehearsing the song forthwith and off course get myself a sun shade.
    I hope you have an awesome finish to your week.

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    1. lol right i was trying to keep it PG 13 so hence my reference and if you look at it they got their hearts racing that for sure lol. and yeah i wouldnt be suprised if that dude was on drugs you know how this folks live reckless lifestyles. the neurosurgeon is lying in the bed he layed. yes o because that gonna be my entrance song lol and have a great weekend also

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  5. Hmmm i see a tale teller.hehehe hows u now?

    Meh that's so crazy i mean the games those peep were playing right in one organization. Most embarassing is the nurse but she deserve the shame she is now facing, Chai! Only her and 5 different men, that was too bad and i really wonder what she was thinking.

    That neurosurgeon sha, such a pitiful and embarrassing way to die.

    @ ms cookie i join the team o #teamwannaseeurpic. Do have a lovely day honey *hugs

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    1. By d way i made a comment on ur last post. Weytin happen now. Maybe i thought i did but the network or something else played me injustice

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    2. lol@ tale teller, im doing great i dey kampe how about you? yes o imagine in one hospital o that woman is a gangsta i dont know how she didnt slip up on their names cause man it requires skills, and a tremondous amount of energy to entertain 5 men to the extent that you cant rule anyone out for the month you concieved nawa o, this one pass the strength of samson and goliath combined. and this neurosurgeon wasnt even that old he just wasted his life. hmmm u want to see abi okay i will send you a side pic

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    4. on yeah i didnt see that comment that kind of sucks because i sure would have loved to have read it , let blame it on the internet ayamatangas lol

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  6. Yaae for exercising!!!.....If you remain consistent your body will get use to it and pain less. I get you on the eating thing. I love to eat and can't imagine only eating like that all the time. There is a price for beauty my dear beauty cost sacrifice. It's not easy, but sure is worth it!! Hospital/Dr. Drama too much......

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    1. yaaaay thank you jare here is a kiss from me to you muaaaawww. yes all this fat cells will soon surrender and girl im glad you understand because i wont lie eating good food is one of my weaknesses but i gotta eat the right things. girl yeah every workplace has it own drama that for sure

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  7. Hahaha!!!!!.....Omg!!!!....I read this laughing as crazy....wow!!!!...mami...no worries...it will get easier eh....and mehn that guy?...Wow!!!.....buh mami...this is a nice read....hehe

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    1. well i am glad it made you laugh lol, yes o it just has to be there will be no retreats or surrender on this misson lol. yeah that dude sure created a mess before he left this world such is life. have a fab weekend

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  8. How art the mighty fallen, you mean a neurosurgeon fell off a height to his death while dancing skelewu...issokay......pankere is waiting for him in heaven.

    Kontinu the exercises and very soon you will be sending bikini photos to Linda ikeji......just don't wound ya self with the waist clincher, me dey find ikebe, you wan reduce ...this life...diaris God oh...

    A beg, no apologies for hearing hot gist within your hearing vicinity ......after all that's what ears are for and me set like to they hear such things, that's how I am well informed about happenings ...hehehe....aproko is my work

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    1. I love your writing style, it's fun

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    2. awww thanks i aprreciate that. :-) * smiling like a cheese head* yes o not only pankere it is heavenly made koboko i mean how does one appear before his maker after indulging in such acts ( that what i was thinking o)
      lol@kontinu haaa linda ikeji ke so that those her followers will shred my body apart with their piranha sharp words hehe i prefer bella naija hehehe i promise not to wound o. diaris is indeed God o lol. and lmao@ "aproko is my work "abi what can i do will i now carry ear muffs. have a fabulous weekend :-)

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    3. Me 2 Sykik! I like the way she writes, as if we are in the room with her and just gisting....I am so stalking her big time!

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    4. New dawn, true talk, Ms cookie can give gist like say she's answering exam questions..lol

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  9. LOOOL! that first picture

    www.cassiedaves.com

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  10. Of course, you are a prolific writer (Why do you think I shared one of your posts). Any form of exercise is not easy, but, if you set SMART goals and persevere, you will get there. Nawa for this neurosurgeon drama and nurse drama oooo - I'm sure you could write a book..........

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    1. just come here get this smooches lol ( on your cheek ofcourse) your so sweet. and girl yeah it all about perseverance. girl somepeople are just messy and they take it too work with them like flies on honey

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  11. like that one of making Sunday cheat day and taking my advice...:-) am so tired after my absent from blogging...hope u doing great.

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    1. girl yes, i gotta have that cheat day in my life :-), get some rest hun am doing fabulous

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  12. Lolol!!! You know how it is said, "no pain, no gain." Sorry about it though, you will love your rewards when you see it in the mirror and feel the health in your heart!

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    1. lol well that just the truth but it is well, i sure cant wait to give away my wardrobe that for sure

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  13. Awwww...I can't wait to see how beyonce-y you've gotten o. Please show us pictures o abeg. I just love your writing. It is so engaging. Keep it up girlfriend. About the nurse, mehn that woman is a strong pelsin...kilode. What was her plan in the 1st place...women just like wahala sha.

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    1. awwwnthanks luv, as in super woman i dont know how her legs and pelvic area could keep up with all those men. and dont worry i"ll post a body pic as soon as i can, i already took the before pic it just remains the beyoncelicious trasformation lol

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  14. Can't wait to see your Beyonce like pictures o! The neurosurgeon story is rather sad but the nurse's story is shameful yet funny. I'm not saying she shouldn't do five men if she has the capacity, but for all the men to be in the same hospital... she didn't play her cards well

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