New Season, New Perspective

Gosh it been so long and a lot has changed in my life. last year was a rough dark year for me but i thank GOD that i made it because if not for him i dont know if i would be around today. depression is a terrible disease it literally sucks all the joy out of your life. ( even as i type this tears run down my face but joyful ones) i am just so grateful that my state of mind is happy. last year i was so stressed out, unhappy, in toxic friendships,baggage of previous failed relationships, anxious, i hated the job i had, i just wasnt happy no matter how i tried, i just couldnt shake the darkness out of my life. I quit my job and decided to do something else because the thought of going in was so depressing (Never work for money do something you enjoy). it was so bad that july 3rd i really thought i shoud just end it because i was tired of feeling tired (if that makes any sense)and i cried everyday, i wasnt sleeping well at night, i barely came out of my room just to shower, drink water, use the bathroom and i spent most of the time in the room, with my curtains shut. i didnt even let the sun in. the only thing that stopped me that night was that if i committed suicide i would never make heaven and see my father again and he would be so dissapointed in my actions and i would let my family down. i woke up the next morning to find out that a nigerian girl in the UK commited suicide she actually went through with it unlike me, i just started crying that morning because that was almost me. no matter how i tried i just couldnt see things changing it was just a culmination of a lot of unresolved things going on in my life. i never thought i would be depressed i mean sure life is not easy and i have been through somethings but i just never imagined i would exprience it and it so hard because i shut a lot of people out but i give GOD ALL THE GLORY. i feel like my self now i have a new leash on life and infact so much has changed. GOD has been good to me this year. this year is my year of restoration i cant believe i am finally happy, it might be hard to comprehend for anyone who has never suffered from depression. as much as i wanted to blog last year i just couldnt because i had nothing happy to talk about and i am of the opinion that life is hard enough i shouldnt add more too it hence why stopped blogging and i am not one to pretend to blog about rosy things when things arent pretty. all in all GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL AND I REalised THAT we are never alone even in the midst of it all he is always there we just have to let him in (help me sing 'praise is what i do' shekinah glory"). i give GOD THE glory and praise him in all my circumstances he has never let me down. p.s : i apologize in advance if there are any typos i was in a rush and just wanted to share this :-)