Friday, August 29, 2014

THE THREE NIPPLED GIRL

I lived in Nigeria as a child and I joined the Peakmilk,Milo and Garri in pillowcase crew choice. I went to this boarding school that seemed more a less like a concentration camp to me then (unwillingly of course chai I suffered no be small,gist for another day) right and things were happening. There was this Chick she was so weird she would speak to herself and answer it loudly; I mean she was constantly muttering words. So the rumor mills (our own personal boarding school CNN news crew) went around saying that this weird chick was an Ogbanje, trust that Ms Cookie had been avoiding her, in fact when she walks I give her a thousand feet and made sure she wasn’t behind me I prefer to be seeing her ogo(back of her head)in front of me before she attacks me and transfers Ogbanje spirit to me . I was deathly afraid of her if she happens to be in the bathroom taking a shower I would stand outside the bathroom and take mine there it better to have the senior boys peeping at my popcorn boobs and nonexistent booty ( FYI Gods has bless me now levels don change my cup runneth over and the booty side well I have cushioning when I sit lol) than becoming an Ogbanje member. (abeg i can’t fight a normal person talkless of someone I heard has mamiwater spirit). back to my story one Friday morning the bell rang and everyone ran to the bathroom to take our baths and then VOILA we noticed that all the girls from a certain house all had half of their hair shaved off, be it in braids, threads, abacha style(low cut) (only those sporting gorimopa were spared) a good 75 percent of their hair was all gone. They didn’t believe it so they raised their hands to their hair and alas the screams and shrieks began and lot of tears sighs!!!, so as they all returned to their rooms in shock to inform the room head who wasn’t exempt from the hair chopper they noticed that the so called Ogbanje chick’s hair was intact about 60 girls here chopped off while they were sleeping. Nah so investigation start o at 6am in the morning they checked everyone’s lockers and BOOM inside Miss Ogbanje locker was a bunch of hair CHINEKE JESUS!!! Everyone was shocked even the room head that would normally have gotten physical didn’t dare touch her. They kept asking her why she did do it. omo that was the day I that solidified my decision that I had been doing the right thing by giving SEVERAL SEATS!! SO HOME GIRL WAS MUTE FOR A LONG TIME ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE SAID SHE WAS THE QUEEN OF THE OCEAN AND SHE WAS THE MOST BEAUTITIFUL WOMAN In THE WORLD/ocean AND SHE LIVES AT THE VERY BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND THAT SHE HAS SUBJECTS AND GOES TO HER OCEAN PALACE EVERYNIGHT AND SHE NEEDED THE HAIR BECAUSE SHE CANT AFFORD TO HAVE PRETTY PEOPLE NEXT TO HER etc . i blocked most of what the said from my memory (WOULDN’T YOU LOL) , A BUNCH OF seniors were interrogating her but no one dared touched her o it was that day i knew that the fear of ogbanje was the begining of wisdom lol. i was so afraid i was shaking i couldn’t even stay to listen to the rest of her queenship words i quickly disappeared and thank God I was not in her room (cause nah that day my papa go come pick me no be lie o I no fit join winchiwinchi crew I cant shout,i dont want to fly at night biko )the hair was packed into plastic bags and when the HOUSE MISTRESS woke up even she didnt carry her long stick to whoop her they just told her to carry her evidence and start walking to the principal office, what did our dear principal do he simply called her parents o to come get her lol abi who no fear winchiwinchi things . Her mother showed up and started begging the Principal and they left after a couple of hours and we all gave thanks to the lord because I doubt anyone would have been able to sleep that night . ALAS 6 weeks later guess who showed up to cut grass for 6 weeks (her punishment) which she never even cut well but no one dared to approach her but me KE you trust me MS COOKIE I stayed FAR FAR FAR away from her. P.S as far as the three nipples allegations . I never got to close to her but all the girls in her room and those who had seen her naked during shower time claimed she had a third nipple lmao in the middle of her 2 normal ones and I won’t lie one time when she wore her shimmy(undergarment) I could have sworn I saw a third bump in the middle of chest but for all I know it was a mole and I imagined it because everyone said it was there but as i didn’t have ogbanje strength I no fit carry magnifying glasses to examine the queen of the coast o. I now wonder if she had schizopherenia because her objective symptoms seemed to fit that profile another P.S (forgive me) if you like hot spice then I gotta gist you guys about the SPICE GIRLS INCIDENCE.

5 comments:

  1. Hahhahaha,,,mam you are a clown I swear. The way you narrated this story, I swear it felt like I was watching nollywood movie. Mehn it is paining me o. I didn't attend a boarding school. E dey pain me o...me sef suppose get gist. But how did she scrap people's head without them knowing...she must have been a witch really.hmnnnn

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    1. guuuurl that day was a day to remember lol. Thank your lucky stars you didnt go lol the suffering there is spectacular hehehe the best part is the adventures you dont sign up for. I went in robust and came out looking like an Ant big head no body. sheybi i was sent there to read i had to inform my mother that she wasted money because i never picked up one book to read hehe not once.an omg that what freaked everyone out, the fact that no one wokeup or felt anything just downright scary.

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  2. Loool you are so hillarious, thank God I never attended a boarding school tho. I bet she had schizopherenia, all those talking to herself thang and cos if truly she was an ogbanje why didn't she use her queenship to cut the grass. She can chop everyones hair and no one will suspect a thing.

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    1. HEHEHE girl all kinda of things happened there endless stories man, that was the scariest part no one was aware they had barber appointment :-)

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  3. Hehehehheheheheh now this was Epic... first of, no be small Queen of the coast ooo. And did you say 3 nippless.... hehehehehehhee now would be an interesting sight to behold.. **winks.. i love the way you stayed away oh Jari... berra safe than sorry. Cheers Bubba. You can funny for Africa shaa.... :) :) :)

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